Erica

Too many of us allow apprehension to rule our lives. I am not talking about real anxiety, more so conforming to societal norms that say it is not OK to put yourself out there.

There is an old story about going over to your neighbor’s to borrow a cup of sugar. One woman would walk over, ask for the sugar and both would end up chatting so much that the other may leave without the sugar.

In today’s society, we are afraid to visit a friend unannounced, and when a doorbell rings we cringe. The person we are visiting, or the person who is visiting, may be a friend but we usually wish they would have called or texted first. Unless the person at the home is a nudist or running a high level crime operation, there should be no reason to worry.

My senior year of high school, I became friends with a freshman cymbal player in the marching band. The feelings were completely platonic. One weekend, when my friend Larry was home from college at Millersville, we were looking for something to do. I suggested we pick up my friend Erica. I had no clue if she was home. If she was home, I did not know if she had friends or a boyfriend there with her. I had no idea what her dad would think about two guys showing up at the door. It did not cross my mind what she would think about us just showing up. Back then, that is what you did - showed up at a friend’s house, asked them if they wanted to hang out.

Erica was home, her dad was either not home or didn’t care that we just showed up and she was more than willing to get in the car and go for a drive. We had no plans. We just drove around - two good friends who had known each other for years with a girl I had only known through band. We sang Bohemian Rhapsody, Larry ended up eating Erica’s chapstick and we had a great time.

That was 2000.

Fast-forward 16 years.

No one randomly stops to visit people they know, let alone someone they barely know. Life needs to be predictable so we can all plan to present the world we are projecting on Facebook. Close friendships are few and far between and we spend hours wondering how to make things better or making up scenarios about how a recent interaction could have gone better. We spend more time worrying instead of just doing.

I am as guilty as the next person, even though I know that 16 years later I am still vacationing with Erica.